Who they are: marathoners, triathletes, adventure racers, gym rats, or any other single person for whom a sport takes up a disproportionate amount of their time and energy.

Identifying traits: 
abundance of visible veins; confusingly appears healthy and unhealthy at the same time; deep tan; calloused feet; an weird remoteness; wears things like North Face foul weather jackets to dinner.

Why they’re single: one of the wonderful things about running and exercising is the temporary escape it provides. But like a drug addiction, there’s a point at which the temporary escape eclipses reality. The Avoiding Athlete puts miles between him/her and the things they should be dealing with in real life, which is typically developing a lasting relationship with something else besides their spandex.

Questions they ask: can I sweat out my issues? They seem to think so, but fast and nimble as the Avoiding Athlete is, their problems are always close behind!

Advantages: healthier than binging on cocaine-filled Hostess Cupcakes; good legs; possible strong sexual appetite (exercise is good for sexual activity, etc.)

Disadvantages: athlete’s foot; bad knees; possible weak sexual appetite (because they’re so exhausted).

What they can do about it: it would be easy to take the low hanging fruit and say the best option for the Avoiding Athlete is to find someone else just as ‘passionate’ about working out (how someone could possibly be passionate about working out it beyond us). But the A.A. has something else going on that a clone version of themselves will not solve. They need to get off planet endorphin, at least for awhile, and mingle with us lazy plebeians in the world of food, booze, and video games. Go to the park and throw a Frisbee with your pals instead of going on a 20 mile run. Kick a soccer ball around instead doing that weird thing with a medicine ball. The point is to get out of your solo bubble and engage with other people on a more regular basis.

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