I love to unearth a bargain.  Searching out of the way shops and finding that Vivienne Westwood dress I know no one else has – at the low, low price of $20 – makes manifest the visceral thrill of the hunt, the joy of discovery.

This is no easy feat.  Quite literally, each item must be poked, prodded and examined for label, fabric quality and potential defects.  Even then, the chosen garment may require alterations before it’s ready for prime time. But it’s worth it when I hear the inevitable compliments, “Wherever did you get that DRESS??” and the shock when I reply, “Steve’s Discount Bait, Tackle & Pants!”

How, you ask, does this apply to dating?  Posthaste, I will reveal: the T.J. Maxx Principle.

Inside every comic shop, hotel bar, or philatelist club, hidden among the spoiled tweens, fifty-something queens and larpers lurks a diamond in the rough, glittering with promise.  “Don’t let my proto-mullet and 13-year-old mustache fool you.  I’m hot, loaded, and great in bed – all I need is a good woman and a razor.” That’s right, readers – just as the the $20 V Westwood dress might require some tailoring work before wear, the T.J Maxx man will also need a few alterations before you can take him out with pride. You see, the principle is not for those who seek instant satisfaction on all ends of the spectrum; Mr. T.J. Maxx requires patience and perseverance.  But it will be worth it.

The bottom line: y’all can keep your Bergdorf men.  I’ll stick with my Salvation Army guys.

But Wait! There’s More Like This: