In this series, the hilarious /insightful Beth Alice Cook exposes overlooked locales for meeting your soul mate 4 eva. – .ed

If you are not trying to meet potential mates at the airport, you are missing out. Here are 5 reasons why airports are S-E-X-Y and what you can be doing to maximize your chances at travel romance.

1. Uniformed officers, strict procedures, rules/regulations, and foreign machinery set the scene: S&M for the Masses. You check your agency when you check your bag. From then on, you are at the whim of those in control. Enjoy it! (When else can you just leave things completely up to other people?)

2. Now it’s time for I Spy at Security. You are playing the game and are also part of the game. People everywhere are undressing in pre-coital fashion, removing shoes, jackets, jewelry and the like. Everyone is checking everyone out, while TSA officers peep personal belongings with electromagnetic x-ray waves. Voyeurism is H-O-T-T. Go to the line with the cutest people and keep an eye out for your turn-ons (i.e. nice arms, tattoos, mac computers, funny socks)

3. Alcohol-soaked terminal adventures begin. You are allowed a bit of freedom, which feels good, and there are bars EVERYWHERE. There’s no better way to kill time than with booze. Boredom + loneliness + booze = flirting with strangers. Other solo-travelers can provide endless entertainment (where do they live? why are they traveling? would I sleep with them?). Belly-up to the bar and turn on the charm. Don’t worry about getting into an unfavorable situation, you always have an out: “My plane is boarding.”

4. Taking off! You’re strapped down to a seat, packed in a phallic monster of a machine, and charging at great speeds up into the sky. Arousal begins. The threat of death, lack of oxygen, and claustrophobia all get you a little hot and bothered. Find your “flight boyfriend/girlfriend” (hottest person on the plane) and dream about them during naptime.

5. Coming down. It feels wonderful being in transition – free from time and place, being everywhere and nowhere at the same time – but all good things must come to an end. If the person next to you is cute, chat with them during the decent. Coming down is better together. Whew. You’ve arrived safe, at your destination, and you are about to be released from the throngs of the airport. It feels so good. If your “flight boyfriend/girlfriend” is at baggage claim, stand nearby and initiate conversation.

At any of these stages of flight travel, you could meet the person of your dreams (or at least a lover), so be on the lookout, talk to as many attractive people as you can and don’t hesitate to exchange contact info if a real connection happens. It’s worked for me and many others.

P.S. No lounge wear, please. Dress for success!

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