Dammit, happened again. I find myself on the wrong side of a fashion curve – in this case, those over-sized western belt buckles, of which I own at least 135.

Over-sized western belt buckles had a good run, spearheading the neo-western movement with its trusty sidekick, the snap button western plaid shirts. The trend began roughly five years ago; I unfortunately caught on just last year.

In my enthusiasm I went on a spree, snatching up every over-sized belt buckle I came across. My collection includes 13 naked women, 8 Woody Woodpeckers, 3 with my first name (Jim), 14 marijuana leafs, 24 guns, 2 penises (don’t ask), 11 Jack Daniels, 4 Jim Beams, 2 George W Bushes, 3 middle fingers, 1 crow on a telephone wire (very artsy), and many others.

As I proudly displayed my Marlboro belt buckle (one of five) at a bar last week, several of my friends informed me of the trend’s demise. I was defensive, and even punched my friend Steve in the throat (was going for his arm), and was depressed for the remainder of the evening.

But the next morning I had a revelation – these belt buckles would return, and God knows I will be ready. I’ll keep a close watch on the belt buckle fashion market, and this time won’t be caught with my pants down (ha ha get it?) I might be 70, but Woody Woodpecker and co. will have the spotlight once again.

Oddly enough, the same thing happened to me ten years ago with the trucker hat phenom. I have close to 1,000 of those.

But Wait! There’s More Like This: