Analysis: she spent three years and $150k of her parent’s dough to get a fancy law degree only to defect to the glamorous world of high fashion. One gets the feeling that she smashed up her dad’s BMW back in the day, and basically got away with murder in the great Southern California JAP tradition (be advised, the spoiled west coast princess syndrome is by no means just a Jewish thing). As her friends remarked, she needs “an older guy” who “won’t put up with her shit”. Enter Mr. Traugott, president of an entertainment company’s television division. 17 years her senior, Peter reinforces the adage that if you become an entertainment executive, you will score hot, young ass (the adage’s words, not mine).

Troubling questions: the announcement says nothing about previous marriage, so we’re to assume that at 45, he’s never been married; in the LITD dictionary, this spells relationship retard. Her extreme bangs and his big forehead clash like a Rachel Zoe dress and Vineyard Vines slacks.

What their kids will look like: pretty damn good! She’s got nice skin and they both have exemplary teeth.

Grades: compatibility: D teacher’s comments: putting aside the fact that he works in television, he seems more intellectual than she (maybe it’s just the glasses.) This could wear on the Havard MBA’d Peter, who will eventually yearn for a little east coast-style mind sex Longevity: B- teacher’s comments: since he’s mid 40 they’ll probably have kids very soon, which should skirt any emerging differences between the couple (at least for awhile). Likeability: C

GRADE: C
POINTS OFF: they got married in Simi Valley. Yes, that valley. minus five.
FINAL GRADE: C-

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