Posts tagged therapy
10 thoughts that go through your mind on a bad date
Ah, bad dates. Time slows to a crawl, the drinks seem never to deplete, and the world stops turning. It is, in most ways, the worst kind of hell. Single Girl Blogging captured the essence of it with this story, and below we dig deep into the psyche with actual thoughts that go through your mind:
“Christ, I really am going to be single forever.”
“Please God, please don’t let anyone I know see us. Please please please please.”
“If I could just replace this turd with the hot bartender, everything would be hunky dory.”
“I’m way too hot for him/her.”
“Is this what it takes to have a baby by 33?”
“If he/she was 30% cuter, 10% less annoying, 5% more interesting and 13% more stylish, I would be in a lot less pain.”
“God those chicken wings look good.”
“Missing at this very moment: 30 Rock, Kardashians, the Mets vs the Pirates, and Anderson Cooper. Fuck.”
“No no no! I’ll never settle.”
“Sigh. Fine, I’ll settle.” *
*thought results in marriage…
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What the health care bill means for singles
The historical passing of the health care bill will change the lives of many people, but one group in particular will feel its impact like no other – single people. Since they are the focus of this publication, I feel impelled to reach out to them in this forum and explain a bit how they will be affected by this momentous bill passing.
1. STD testing – single people lead every category of sexual promiscuity: one night stands; unprotected sex; ‘experimental’ sex; sexual ‘vacations’ to far of lands; even sexual events such as snugglefests. No surprise, they lead in STDs, which go untreated because they don’t have adequate insurance. Thanks to the health care bill, this is no longer the case.
2. Access to vanity doctors – the bill now allows ample access to doctors who will do away with unsightly blemishes that might be adversely affecting your dating life. Moles. Birthmarks. Large noses. Small breasts. Marginal eyelashes. Every single single person across the country can get these things fixed cheaply, and safely.
3. Cheaper…
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Impersonal of the day: Notyourshrink
Every week we post an Impersonal that is archetypal of everyone’s relationship issues. This week we feature notyourshrink, a LITD fixture who’s even had a few sessions with the great Doctor Damage. She obviously has her issues but I’d be willing to bet there’s a little notyourshrink in all of us.
What’s your analysis? Do you have any of the same baggage? Do you know a Notyourshrink?
Bottom 5 Ways: Getting one nite stands O-U-T (of your apartment)
The web is full of lame “top 5″ lists, especially when it comes to relationships and dating. Problem is, none are actually applicable to real world scenarios. LITD takes care of this in our new series, Bottom 5 ways. – ed
Ok so you’ve had a one night stand. Again. Big deal, you’ll repress this one just like all the others, after a boozy brunch with your pals and an afternoon nap. But – uh oh! – your accomplice thinks he/she is sticking around for the morning. Maybe even the day. Worse case scenario, even another night! You’re cornered and need to think fast, but since thinking fast is not something you do well, you flounder. And suddenly your Saturday/Sunday of freedom is severely hamstrung. Luckily, LITD is here to help with this handy list of ways to get your one night stand out of your apartment and back on the street where they belong:
1. Your parents are coming over – this would be an awkward situation to end all…
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Doctor Damage Shrinks the Shrink
Oh help me, please doctor, I’m damaged:
As a 33 year old single female psychologist, my problem with relationships is all too clear – I analyze each one down to the very bone. These are the kinds of things I ask on dates: How old were you when you began to play “doctor”? Have you ever hurt a small animal? How frequently did you talk to your mother, and are either of your parents narcissistic? Once, on a first date, I asked him how big his amygdala was – the part of the brain that processes emotions. My friends say I should be more concerned with the size of his other body parts. It seems like my love of psychology has made my search for a relationship self-fulfilling, but at this point it feels like I’m way deep into nothing special.
Sincerely, Not Your Shrink
This is the kind of case that a Doctor just loves to delve into. First, it seems quite obvious that your professional curiosity in the psychology of…
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