Posts tagged singles
Should I stand like this, or like that?
Should I stand like this, or stand like that? Arms folded, giving me an air of stalwart decisiveness, or does it make me appear closed-off, inaccessible, remote? Though isn’t being remote considered sexy, as in “the puzzle” that someone would want to “figure out”?
It’s always a bit awkward at these parties, finding yourself standing alone and are forced to make decisions that might in fact determine if you will find a mate for the night, or, indeed life? Should I eat one of these Cheese Puffs, or will that look corny, as in “the guy standing alone eating the Cheese Puffs”?
Fuck it, I’m going to eat one. Oh Christ, that group of girls is looking, although to be fair they seem to be looking around everywhere. Who chose the food anyway? Couldn’t they think of something sexier than Cheese Puffs? Like something that doesn’t leave a thin layer of neon orange goo on your fingers? Trader Joe’s offers a bevy of frozen options that are both delicious and reasonab –…
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What the health care bill means for singles
The historical passing of the health care bill will change the lives of many people, but one group in particular will feel its impact like no other – single people. Since they are the focus of this publication, I feel impelled to reach out to them in this forum and explain a bit how they will be affected by this momentous bill passing.
1. STD testing – single people lead every category of sexual promiscuity: one night stands; unprotected sex; ‘experimental’ sex; sexual ‘vacations’ to far of lands; even sexual events such as snugglefests. No surprise, they lead in STDs, which go untreated because they don’t have adequate insurance. Thanks to the health care bill, this is no longer the case.
2. Access to vanity doctors – the bill now allows ample access to doctors who will do away with unsightly blemishes that might be adversely affecting your dating life. Moles. Birthmarks. Large noses. Small breasts. Marginal eyelashes. Every single single person across the country can get these things fixed cheaply, and safely.
3. Cheaper…
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