Posts tagged mothers
Grading the vows: Salemme, Walker
Analysis: remember the mean frat guys and the women who loved them in Revenge of the Nerds? Animal House? Can’t Buy Me Love? Perhaps you think these people exist only in the movies. Then you stumble over the thread spun by Mark and Elisabeth, whose courtship you can also see in a five page spread in Bucknell’s money-begging alumi glossy.
Troubling questions: their love grew from the fecund soil of an Alpha Delta theme party – sticky floors, deafening music, entitled debauchery – and one could argue the union is strong since it flourished despite these odds. However, the high likelihood that one or both barfed on the other the night they met/hooked up makes us believe they are standing on shaky ground.
What their kids will look like: Johnny from the original Karate Kid.
Point summery (points work against you):
Lookalike factor: +200
Ivy cred: 0
Cum laude crap: +15
Getting married too young: +10
Double Jersey…
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Doctor Damage takes on a mother of an issue
Dear Doctor Damage: Is it ok to date someone with same name as your mother? I’ve been going ‘steady’ with someone with my mom’s first name for awhile. It’s been pretty good, but sexually, it just feels weird. Maybe it’s the reverse Oedipus complex? I dunno. Please help me Doctor!!
First things first, Oeddie. You didn’t meet her at a family reunion, did you? But let’s focus on your current girlfriend. Does she tell you to pick up your socks and wet towels off the bathroom floor? Does she make you make the bed? Go to the grocery store with her? Write a thank-you note to her girlfriend after she’s had you both to her parent’s weekend house? Go shopping with you and veto your choices? Another thing- are you one of those guys that keeps pictures of Mom on your bedroom dresser? And I don’t mean the tasteful middle-aged pictures pics of Mom on a cruise with Dad. I’m talking about pictures of her in a strapless cocktail dress with a martini and a…
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5 profile pictures that will get you nowhere fast
Asylum has interesting commentary on OkCupid’s study on what makes a good online dating profile for guys; these include pictures showing off muscles, drinking with friends, and pictures with animals. But what about bad dating profile pictures? These landmines are hard to avoid, so we provide a handy list:
1. You hiking, ice climbing, or doing some other activity that involves sweat and B.O. Ok, it’s cool that you’re into nature, but sweaty pits are the last thing one wants as a first impression.
2. You with your parents. Unless your parents are insanely hot, it’s not a good idea to show someone what you’ll look like in twenty or so years.
3. You at work. Hey! It’s me, under florescent lights, in my depressing cubicle where my ass is getting fatter by the day!
4. You taking a cell phone picture of yourself. No matter how good you think you are, these shots are always weird. Your eyes are looking to the far right, and your smile is askew and awkward.
5. Professional…
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