Posts tagged analysis
Are you loving like a Darma or a Greg?
There is an important lesson to be learned from Darma & Greg. If you’re not familiar with the late 90’s TV show, or need a refresher course, the half-hour sitcom was about the marriage of a liberal, yoga-practicing, health-nut hippie (Darma) and a conservative, practical, follow-the-rules lawyer (Greg). Of course drama ensues when Darma and Greg’s different approaches to illness, home decorating, and camping conflict – Darma’s cure for a cold involves herbs and old world mysticism while Greg employs Sudafed and a trained healthcare professional.
All my life, I’ve dated Gregs (cranky intellectuals who need a laugh and my impulsive behavior as a sidekick on the dirt road to F-U-N) – until last year, when I dated Ben.
Ben was living on his own planet, where people only cared about organic vegetable gardening and hiking with friends, where wine flowed like water, where traveling was church and where girlfriends were a burden. There were no rules in Ben’s world and I eagerly stepped in, ready for vacation.
But being around a through and through…
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Types of dysfunctional daters: the Irksome Ivy
Who they are: Ivy League graduates (this includes Cornell, don’t forget!) and the occasional second-tier liberal arts grad (Hamilton College) who are deep in their 20’s or 30’s and can’t seem to find a compatible mate. Also includes Ivy PHDs and some Masters (Warton Business School).
Why they’re single: deep-seated intellectual superiority complex that negates 98% of the options from the pool. Not willing to settle for someone who doesn’t know the definition of apocryphal or has lower test scores. While others are okay with the ‘coupon’ approach to dating – ie. going with someone of equal or slightly less mental value – the competitive nature of Ivys makes them want to date up, and sadly there’s only about 5 of those in rotation currently (this one included).
What they can do: constantly challenge yourself with brain-teasers such as Wurdle and difficult crossword puzzles. This way, when you’re with your not-as-smart mate, your brain will be happy to take a much needed break. Also, research proves that a regular…
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Types of dysfunctional daters: the Lame Horse Bettor
In the spirit of Andrea Syrtash’s new book release, He’s Just Not Your Type, Love in the Dumps will attempt to identify and profile the many types of dysfunctional daters (DDs). We know who we are. (which DD are you, or which have you encountered? Let me know!!!)
Type name: The Lame Horse Bettor
Definition: Like the unlucky Thoroughbred gambler who bets on a horse with a bad leg, this type purposely starts up relationships with partners that are obviously unsustainable, all to avoid getting involved in longer term relationships. Unfortunately the victims suffer the same fate as the lame horse, and are put down.
Advantages: The benefit of being a Lame Horse Bettor is seductive – an instant rip cord to pull at any given time, usually around the 3 month expiration. The “he/she is just not right for me” excuse is built right into it from the start, so when you inevitably plow the thing into a tree the damage will be minor scrapes and cuts.…
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Post text analysis: to bar, or not to bar
This is a series in which two of the web’s great relationship writers analyze a nebulous text correspondence between couples, lovers, or somewhere in-betweens. The following missive is particularly complex, so we approached two of the best: Nando,
whose wisdom is known to the world as Nandoism, and Zoe,
whose razor sharp wit draws blood on Wink Wink Wink.
The background:
They meet via blind date and start a very intense relationship (ie. Sex) all of a sudden. Thinking she’s never going to date him long term, she freaks out and dumps him, then calls him hours later and he end up spending the night. They date for a few more weeks, then she breaks up with him again. Then (you guessed it) date for another week. Finally they seal the break up deal but have continued to text every once in a while.
This is one of these times. It’s a Sunday evening in mid-March. She’s at a bar in Williamsburg:
She:
Considering getting out of the w’burg…
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Dumped on email: a death letter analysis
The following was my guest conTEXTual on the very very funny site, Winkwinkwink. Here’s the background to the death letter, in the words of the deceased:
Met on Match when I was dating a few other guys. We went out for Korean food, laughed for hours. Had another date, laughed some more. I knew it wasn’t going to be more than a short-term relationship in the beginning, but after a few Sunday afternoon motorcycle rides and road trips, I didn’t care. I was having fun. He introduced me to his friends. He would cancel weekend plans to hang out with me. His mom even knew my name and asked him about me in her daily emails. And this was only one month in. I started to like him, a lot, and only thought about him when I was dating this other Caribbean dude who was kind of perfect. Not even Mr. Perfect could stop me thinking about my funny Frenchman, so I broke up with Mr. Perfect and began dating just the Frenchman. I…
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Post Text Analysis
Pity those of us who are forced to date in the the 21st century. Yes, there are wonderful new forms of communication, but each one has a unique skill set to master. Texting in particular is a sneaky, slippery snake that, if not handled correctly, will bite you. Good thing you’re not alone. Each week LITD will take real texts, emails and phone messages, and, with the help of experts, will analyze what went right or wrong, so you can avoid getting bit by the poisonous text snake.
This week we’ve enlisted two of New York’s finest single’s writers, the lovely Simone from Sex Lies and Dating 
and the smooth Jackie from Jack from Brooklyn
, to hash out the text below.
ConTEXT:
The two met briefly at a party. He got her number and asked her out; they had drinks the week after. This text exchange took place immediately after the date.
Him:It was lovely to meet up. have a good night.
good; showed fearlessness about immediate feedback.
…
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Pic Quip: Olivia Munn & Chris Pine
A regular feature in which body language expert Greg Grabianski, PHD, analyzes a celebrity photograph and gives us the real deal.
1. Distance – so much distance between a couple while drinking coffee can only mean tension and passive-aggression. What’s causing it? Let’s look deeper.
2. Tight lips, looking off into the distance – as any man knows this is the expression of a very pissed off woman. Did she catch him checking out the barista’s ass? Or is she just embarrassed because Chris insisted on wearing a scarf when it’s warm enough outside to wear a t-shirt? Neither.
3. Holding wallet – Olivia had to pay for Chris’ latte. This is clearly a microcosm of what’s destroying the relationship: Olivia is constantly footing the bill for the fading Chris, and is becoming resentful.
4. Head dropped in shame – as per norm when someone picks up the tab for one’s broke ass, Chris feels like a schmuck for about five minutes, wondering when Star Trek 2 will go into production, though the feeling lifts…
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