Posts tagged abroad
Letter from the Middle East
Continuing the saga of a Canadian-Asian reporter dispatched in the Middle East, trying to find some action deep in the desert. – .ed
The last time I slept with a white guy, one of my Arab friends protested.
“That little Kiwi dude?” he said. “Not again.”
What’s wrong with white dudes, huh? Well, many things, according to the Arab world, which is where I currently reside. I’m on my fifth month in the Middle East, and for the longest time and unknown reasons it seemed, I had only been able to hook up with white guys.
“What’s wrong with that?” I said to my Lebanese friend.
“You have to stop sleeping with guys from the West,” he said. “I know New Zealand is in Oceana, but you know what I mean… All these white boys are the same – ill-dressed, ill-mannered and don’t know how to treat a woman.”
He went on to list some of his other observations, which included:
>> When a white guy goes grocery shopping with his girlfriend,…
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Letter from Qatar
Lately I’ve been busy learning the ways of Allah, and apparently, His people want my infidel ass.
OK back up a bit. Five months ago, I decided to pack my bags and move to Qatar. Yes, the tiny peninsula just off Saudi Arabic – one of the richest countries in the world, where Lamborghinis are as abundant as second and third wives.
Some Arabic I’ve picked up so far: Kees ummak (Your mother’s pussy!), Kees ummak bi ayri (My cock up your mother’s pussy!), Kees ummak bi Ras’ayri (The tip of my cock up your mother’s pussy), and finally Kees ummak bi Ras’ayri sharmoota (The tip of my cock up your mother’s pussy, bitch!). Yes I ‘m a fast learner, Masha’Allah (God meant it so!).
Now that we’ve established the fact that I’m totally opened to mingling with Arabs, I’d like to talk a bit about the cultural differences within the dating scene.
Urrr, what dating scene? First of all, there is none. Because dating is haram (taboo)! If a woman wants to hook up…
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