Jimmy Juice
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Posts by Jimmy Juice
Celeb Impersonal: Jesse James
Wow! Not a week after Sandra B gave Jesse J the big D, he’s on Love in the Dumps looking for, er, well it couldn’t be love. I think it’s safe to say he’s cool with tattoos. Feeling Impersonal? Make your own here!
Great moments in N.T.B (no text back)
Sorry Charlie! Gonna have to find yourself another best friend somehow!
Send your NTBs and other conTEXTuals (emails, texts, chats about funny relationship/dating stuff) to text (at) LoveintheDumps.com
Sausage Links: Tasty web treats, every morning
Let’s just be glad Pete Sampras stayed away from any and all drug references. This could have gotten ugly if he pretended to smoke out of the racket.
I can’t tell if this meme is tiring or not. Honestly, I don’t care. I’m a consumer, not a critic and I think it is a goofy slander. Here’s one more.
If you read and liked Lolita, here is a song for you. I myself like rap music, where annunciation is key. If I had watched this video without any text surrounding it, the video and production would have wholly distracted me from the subject at hand.
Speaking of inappropriate, why do the Japanese still eat whale? For a country whose technology is out in front by a couple of years, this to me seems quite bush league. I oughta whale on them. Okay, done with puns for the day……….maybe.
Also, BBC wants to know what you think
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Sausage Links – tasty but fattening bits from the web
I like when people on children’s shows act really bizarre. Consider:
If you’re into movies, good. Each of these tracking shots are longer than my longest relationships…
Apropos of this, I’m glad a girl I dated turned to lesbianism.
How do you one up the snuggie? Like I said, the Japanese never, ever fail to amaze me.
Now I love me some hockey fights, but I’ll spare you. These are better. WWE wrestlers are advised to take notes…if they know how to write. Consider it Olympic follow up.
Song to play at my funeral…du jour: Motherlode, ‘When I Die’
Gratuitous Jack Handey Quote: “Before a mad scientist goes mad, there’s probably a time when he’s only partially mad. And this is when he’s going to throw his best parties.”
Sausage Links – made from web raccoon
When I was a kid, I imagined adulthood would consist of things like this. Then, one day at afterschool, I played ‘Mouse Trap,’ and learned that this kind of stuff is impossible for me. I suck at assembling. Destroying (aka gettin’ my Godzilla on) is not so much a problem.
Speaking of being a kid, get your draw on, here: intricate and easy to get lost in.
Below, the Japanese never fail to amaze me. I love them like a fat kid loves cake.
I think a big reason why so many college graduate males are single is marijuana. How many potheads do you know with a steady girl? Anyway, this will help your memory. With practice, of course.
Speaking of single 23 year year olds, here’s a glimpse of the photos of a world photographer. The most amazing part? He’s traveling without the aid of a trust fund!
Smitten Song of the Day,’ Taj Maha’s “Lovin’ in My Baby’s Eyes.“
Gratuitous Jack…
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Sausage Links – comprised of questionable web stuffs
Wednesday’s theme is: slimy animal reproduction. Slug sex to the left, and, here, sea horse reproduction. I suggest you cue up some epic music for this. Ladies: next time you start cursing the male gender, remember the Seahorse. Okay? Even though they make it look easy, those males put in hard work. March 11 is National Seahorse day–I suggest you stock up on apparel.
- The worst is when you ticklefight with yourself. It should also be noted that Senator Massa loves to hire Throw Pillows.
- What a shit cheese-eating grin on this man’s face. Next time I want a woman to make me food? “The breast is there to make food.”
- I want definitive answers as to whether or not this is fake. I’ll still love you anyway, whether or not you house a soul.
- Breakup song of the day: “Magnolia” By JJ Cale.
- Gratuitous Jack Handy Quote: “On the other hand, we have different fingers.”
Impersonal of the Day: James Cameron
Editor’s note: Two hours after his snubbing from the Academy, we received an Impersonal from none other than James Cameron. Maybe it was seeing his ex-wife win that made him lay it out all in this touching Impersonal.
Sausage Links: comprised of questionable web stuffs
I can’t decide if Jersey Shore gave the state positive PR. I guess you could call it “Ironic PR.” Anyway, the runts of the show are only following tradition: New Jerseys Finest Circa 1991.
Tiger Woods’ exploration of strange (this makes total sense) undoubtedly led to wives-of-athletes being a little more weary of their husbands. Honestly though, sometimes the stories you read and hear just make you think the athletes are gay for each other.
American cigarette companies put up quite a fight before the warning, “Caution: Cigarette Smoking May be Hazardous to Your Health,” in 1966. Can we compare Apple to them now?
I’m usually a fan of the Oscars, seeing most of the movies (and so I can be pedantic, read reviews.) Yet this year I was particularly disengaged. Spoof me!
Fun Fact: Sandra Bullock is the first ever to receive the Razzie for Worst Actress and Oscar for Best Actress in the same year.
Lil Wayne is going to jail. Sounds…
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