We write this letter to address your disdainful attitude towards us singletons, the cause of mounting tension between our two factions. We hope to work with you to find a peaceful resolution; barring that, we must to resort to good old fashioned war.

Like running a marathon or winning the Booker prize, having children is a rite of passage that confers upon parents a certain emotional state. For the sake of argument let’s call it “the arrogance of parenthood.” Now responsible for another human’s life, being a parent has changed you fundamentally; moreover, it has made you a better person.   On that point, we brook no argument.  Verily, we write to illustrate how this arrogance affects we who have yet to reach this blissful state, i.e., singletons.

Let’s begin with a case study to prove this painful fact.  Take the example of J, who visited her old friend, a stay-at-home mom living in Connecticut.  Much wine was imbibed with dinner; afterwards they visited a local pub and stayed past midnight.  On the way home, the friend was overridden with guilt. “I can’t DO this, “ she cried. “I’m a MOTHER!”

The dominant line of thinking is this: I am a parent, therefore my life is more important than a non-parent, and hence much more important than that of a single person. (see fig. 3.7)  As you can plainly see, single people are very low on the totem pole in the minds of recent parents.

This contemptuousness often manifests itself in the form of advice.  In your eyes, we live a life of licentiousness and sin – online dating, boozing, sexting, sleeping late on Sundays, leisurely strolling through the park, and just generally enjoying all the City has to offer.  Emboldened by your clan and empowered by the act of procreation, you stand atop Mount Olympus and mete out golden droplets of advice to ensure that we too will someday reach this state of bliss.

To this we respond with our rallying cry:  We’re not hedonistic, selfish and immoral.  We’re just single.

Some of us will reach the lofty heights you have scaled; others won’t.  And that’s okay.  We’re all forging ahead down our own paths, making mistakes along the way and learning what’s important.

Now our advice to you: channel your parenthood arrogance elsewhere – but beware of passing this trait on to your kin.  Arrogant parents beget arrogant children.

Warmest regards,
Singletons Union,  New York Chapter
Continued reading on this subject, Salon.com.

*please forward this to the mommy blogger contingent*

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